My Dad was the worlds biggest baseball fan. He loved hockey, and played College Football at the University of Bridgeport, but to him… baseball was always number 1. So in honor of Opening Day and the beginning of baseball season, here is an excerpt from my book “Lessons from Dad: a son looks back on a lifetime of lessons from Rick Trimble”. Hope you enjoy.
Books can be purchased here- Lessons from Dad
The Seat in the Outfield
According to Webster's 1913 Dictionary, a narcissist is "someone in love with himself or herself. A more modern definition is "an individual showing symptoms of or affected by narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder". Narcissism is characterized by "extremely self-centered behavior with an exaggerated sense of self-importance"
Webster defines Altruism as “the belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others.” Moreover in zoology Altruism is “behavior of an animal that benefits another at its own expense.”
Rick Trimble loved baseball, and Rick’s roots in Harrington Park, NJ, seated him conveniently in the backyard of one of baseball's great dynasties, the 1950’s and early 1960’s New York Yankees. In the famed 1961 race for the Home Run record, young Rick rooted for his boyhood idol, Mickey Mantle. Rick, himself a left handed thrower, played countless sandlot and street games with his hometown friends as brother Todd carefully was instructed to watch and guard the drainage gutter near the hometown field. “We don't want to lose any balls down there!” Todd was told.
As he got older, Rick would frequently take any means necessary- bus, train, or hitchhike- to watch Yankee games at the old Stadium near 161 street in the Bronx, a mere 17 miles from his boyhood home. Rick remembered an awkward interaction he had as a fan during one of Roger Maris’ difficult final seasons in New York. Maris, after posting back to back MVP seasons in 1960 & 1961 and successive campaigns where he racked up seasons of 39, 61, 33, 23, & 26 (in order) home run seasons in the pinstripes, his final two years in New York he combined for a mere 21 home runs. During a game as Maris was walking off the field following a strike out, Rick recalled yelling “You BUM!” towards the Yankee icon. Vividly Rick remembered Maris looking up, and in a piercing moment of humanity, looking directly into his teenage eyes. It shook Rick to his core and he never forgot that moment. What he said, how he said it, and how Maris reacted impacted him forever. Roger Maris was a human being.
Dick Trimble was a National Leaguer in his heart. He did not believe in the DH and he arrived in the greater New York area when the National League was the dominant league in the city, as both the Brooklyn Dodgers and New York Giants played their games in the Boroughs. As the family settled into Harrington Park and Rick became more in love with his Yankees, Dick liked the upstart New York Mets. The Amazing Mets.
In 1986, the Mets decade-long rebuild had finally started to pay dividends. They had the two brightest young stars in the game, Doc Gooden (a Cy Young winner in 1985) and Darryl Strawberry the NL Rookie of the Year in 1984. The 86 Mets were chock full of bright young talent and future Hall of Famers including players such as, Keith Hernandez, Gary Carter, Mookie Wilson, Lenny Dykstra, and Ron Darling. They were a team that had both superstars and role players, and one of the best managerial staffs in all of baseball. Even a Yankee fan such as Rick Trimble could root for this brash, young Mets squad.
The 1986 playoffs were some of the most memorable in baseball history. The 6 game series between the Mets and the Houston Astros was a series for the ages as games 5 and 6 each exceeded 12 innings. Epic pitching duels were prevalent with the likes of Nolan Ryan and Mike Scott hurling from the Houston mound. Dick and Rick attended game 4 of the series at Shea Stadium, a game in which Mike Scott threw a complete game 3 hitter enroute to a 3-1 victory that evened the series. Once the Mets advanced into the World Series the drama did not stop. An epic 7 game series vs the Boston Red Sox, including the most dramatic come from behind victory in MLB playoff history occurred in Game 6. The Mookie Wilson at bat, and subsequent blooper to first that snuck under Bill Buckner's glove became a symbol of the never quit, never say die attitude that Rick Trimble wanted to teach his players, athletes and teams.
For years, during pre-season training camp for his baseball teams, Rick would show the 1986 New York Mets championship video to his players. VHS only. He would fast forward to get the parts about determination, come from behind victories, playing the game with a dirty uniform, and working together to overcome adversity. He would highlight the characters, and the personalities of that team finding a way to win through adversity and enormous obstacles. That team, with those players, embodied the types of teams that he wanted to coach. The type of athletes that he viewed as “his guys”. These players played for the team first, the logo on the front, rather than the nameplate on the back.
As an observer of the game, Rick Trimble always put himself in the background. As a coach he rarely took part in team pictures, as he felt it was a distraction and that the pictures were about the players. The end of the year team dinner? Rick avoided any praise. It was about THE TEAM. His role as coach was to facilitate team chemistry, create an environment where players could learn, develop and teach skills so that players could take with them from their season with him a wide and expanding range of tools. In doing this he fostered a winning culture. It was never about what the team could do for him… it was about what he could do with the team.
When watching his kids and grandkids play ball, Rick always quietly sat during games on a lawn chair in left field. Never in the stands with the other parents. Away from the bustle with book in hand, enjoying a bright, sunny (or not) day, and breathing in the ball game. The sounds of the bat hitting the ball, the cool ocean air, the sun on the freshly cut grass. He stayed away from the crowds of onlookers and avoided chit chat not necessarily due to any anti-social behavior, but rather to enjoy and give his attention to the athletes on the field.
In coaching and as a fan my Dad put himself in the background. He watched, observed, and enjoyed. Always the Altruist, he took almost stoic pride in deflecting all attention away from himself and turning the spotlight onto others. The narcissist in most humans absorbs and feeds off the adulation of others. An energy vampire. Demanding to be the center of attention, and sucking the life out of others to pull into focus their own accomplishments. My Dad deflected it. He took pride in seeing the light shine more brightly upon others.
When you are a true leader, there is no need to make yourself the center of attention. Delegate, and work together as a team with other individuals that share your values. If you are the true leader, there is no need to have to tell everyone who's running the show.